


When it Becomes Too Much

by PurpleSmurf8



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 12:35:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleSmurf8/pseuds/PurpleSmurf8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their chances are dwindling though there are no enemies visible. The flames are closing in around them and Merlin must choose either to risk losing Arthur's friendship and trust, or their lives....</p>
<p>Notes: One of my first Merthur one-shots I wrote back in September for my fanfiction.net account. It's a magic reveal (before the sadwonderfulamazingheartbreaking finale of the show aired) So this is just one of the ways I saw it go down in my head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When it Becomes Too Much

            They were losing. The smoke was closing in on them and he could barely see any of the knights. The air was thick, but he had to keep going. Keep protecting Arthur. This sword was weighing him down and swinging it at the straggling enemies and moving his feet forward was all he could do not to pass out.

            Merlin paused in the surrounding smoke when he noticed he couldn’t see Arthur any longer. “Arthur!”

“Here!” He heard to his left, emerging out of the wall of smoke.

Merlin’s rush of relief is quickly replaced by the strain in Arthur’s voice and features.

They didn’t have long. The circle of fire was closing in on them.

            He watched Arthur strike a blow to the last visible enemy and stumble forward to Merlin’s side, leaning on him back to back.

“We need a plan!” Merlin almost pleaded. He didn’t know what else they could do. They were trapped. They couldn’t run, the fire was just behind the smoke, couldn’t quench the fire….His magic was itching to surface and end this, but the fear of what that might bring….he’d always found an alternative, always found a way to keep his magic away from Arthur or get lucky in the process. He could knock Arthur out, but what if he couldn’t drag him to safety?

            Merlin took in the feel of Arthur at his side, not so much for strength, but hope. If he didn’t do something soon they were dead. But if he did….

Pushing off from Arthur he steadied his stance.

“Merlin,” Arthur said curiously.

Merlin didn’t dare answer. If he did he might change his mind, might see reason.

But this _was_ reason, because he could feel his energy draining in the heat, his chest hurting with every breath.

            Taking as deep of a breath as possible, he felt the area around them; the thick smoke, heat, constant rush of fire, the ground beneath him. Then the ancient language left his mouth and began in small drops from the invisible sky. Tilting his head and intensifying his words, Merlin let his magic flow through him as the rain came harder.

            He let it wash over his once burning hot skin and attempt to sooth the fear that was working its way back into his veins, but with it thunder roared above him. Opening his eyes after only mere seconds, Merlin turned to Arthur as his head began to spin.

            Arthur stared at him, mouth slightly open with strained breaths. But that look, Merlin hated that look. And he hoped that he imagined the betrayal in Arthur’s eyes as his own shut and his world went black. _Please let him forgive me_ ….

*

            Merlin let the morning light hit the back of his eyes, not ready for its harshness. But the burning pyre of his nightmare played through his mind. _I revealed my magic to Arthur. Arthur knows I have magic_ ….

            Pulling himself away from these thoughts, he listened to the hushed voices in the other room as the previous events rushed back. Forcing himself up he rubbed his eyes as Gaius’ familiar steps neared and opened the door.

“Good, you’re awake.” He came to sit at the foot of the bed and handed Merlin a cup of water, “I was afraid we’d lost you.”

“How long have I been asleep?” He asked a bit hoarsely, the water sliding down his dry throat.

“Two days. I thought perhaps you didn’t want to wake up.”

_A part of him almost hadn’t_ … “How’s Arthur?” He asked a bit unsurely.

“Besides barely saying a word to anyone, he acts as if someone’s died.”

            Merlin put his head into both hands and groaned, “Gaius Arthur knows.”

“Knows?”

“About my magic.”

“Ah,” he paused for a moment, “It had to happen eventually Merlin.”

Merlin tilted his head to look up at his mentor, “What if everything I’ve worked for is gone?”

Gaius looked at him sternly, “Merlin, everything you’ve worked for is still here.”

“….What if he hates me?”

Gaius was un-amused at Merlin’s disposition, “Give Arthur more credit, the two of you have been through much together.”

            Merlin sat up, “But I’ve kept this from him for years!” He said frantically, “…what if he doesn’t forgive me?”

“Merlin, Arthur is your friend; he will understand why you did it.”

Merlin wasn’t sure of anything. “Will he?”

“Frankly, I’m surprised he hasn’t found out until now. You’re not exactly the most subtle of people. I don’t know if you’ve managed it out of dumb luck or if Arthur’s just that oblivious.”

Merlin would have laughed if his stomach weren’t in knots.

            Gaius slapped his hands to his knees and stood, “Either way, I’ve been told that once you are awake and well enough, you are to report to the king.”

“What? No! I don’t feel well at all.”

He held the door open and turned to Merlin, “You know, he’s snuck in here three times to see you. The first time, he stormed out of here like he was ready to kill you.”

Merlin’s head fell.

“But,” Gaius continued, “he looked more hurt than vengeful.”

            Merlin looked up hopefully and watched him go. Was Arthur really just hurt? No…he was definitely angry. Arthur was always mad at him for something. Not shining his armor right, being late, making too much noise, doing nothing when really Merlin was saving his life…Setting his mind to it, he moved to put a shirt on and go face his destiny.

*

            He hesitated at Arthur’s chambers, staring at the door, working up the courage, then knocked.

“Enter.” Arthur called stiffly, turning away from the window to see who it was and stopped mid step. “Merlin,” he said with surprise, but perhaps a bit of gladness?

“Hi,” He said tentatively with a glance as he shut the door.

There was an awkward pause before Arthur couldn’t help but ask, “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Merlin said to the floor.

“I was worried about you.”

Merlin perked his head up.

“ _We_ were,” Arthur quickly corrected, “course we were.”

Merlin sighed, “Arthur I’m sorry, I never meant—,”

“What, to lie to me? To keep something like that hidden all this time?”

            Merlin stepped forward, “I never lied,” He threw his arms about him in frustration, “I wanted to tell you! You don’t think it killed me every single day not to?”

“I don’t know Merlin; apparently I don’t know anything about you.” Arthur said almost crossly.

Merlin choked on those words, “You don’t mean that.”

“I trusted you! I thought you out of all people had my back.”

“You do! All I want is to protect you.”

            Arthur was staring intently at him now, “But you’ve had magic,” He said softer this time, “All this time and never said anything.”

Merlin took a deep breath, “Yes.” He watched Arthur’s eyes turn to the floor, “Can you accept that?”

“I—I don’t know.”

Merlin felt his heart tighten, “You know why I did it don’t you? Why I couldn’t tell you?”

Arthur didn’t say anything at first, just tapped on the bed post. The mere minutes of silence was about to drive Merlin mad when—“I’m not angry,” Arthur evaded.

“Really.”

Arthur gave a half-hearted smirk, “No.”

            Merlin took in the distance between them, “You can tell me anything.” He said quietly.

“I can’t actually,” he answered, looking up at him.

“Why?”

“I can’t.”

Merlin was a bit lost at his tone, “Arthur.” This wasn’t just the magic. Because he couldn’t trust him? He started a bit angrily, “Is it because I’m—,”

“I _love you_ , you clot! I thought we were dead back there! I’m angry because I thought I’d lost you. I’m angry _because_ I’m not angry at you!”

Merlin was taken aback, “You do?”

            “Must I repeat everything Merlin?”

Merlin gave the biggest grin he could and leaned his forehead into Arthur’s, saying, “I love you.”

“And if you _ever_ , keep anything from me again I will personally put you in the dungeon.”

Merlin smirked, “Yes your majesty.”

They stood in silence for a few moments, their hands brushing the other’s.

            “Merlin?”

“Hmm?”

“How many times have you used your magic to protect me, exactly?”

Merlin took Arthur’s hand into his, “Too many times to count.”


End file.
